Abbott and Costello Meet Windows


Costello:  Hey, Abbott!


Abbott:    Yes, Lou?


Costello:  I just got my first computer.


Abbott:    That's great Lou. What did you get?


Costello:  A Pentium II-366, with 100 Megs of RAM, a 20 Gig hard drive, and a 56X CD-ROM.


Abbott:    That's terrific, Lou


Costello:  But I don't know what any of it means!!


Abbott:    You will in time.


Costello:  That's exactly why I am here to see you.


Abbott:    Oh?


Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.


Abbott:    Well, I don't know-


Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me.


Abbott:    Really?


Costello:  Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.


Abbott:    O.K. Lou. What do want to know?


Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.


Abbott:    That's true.


Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off, What do I do?


Abbott:    Well, first you press the Start button, and then-


Costello:  No, I told you, I want to turn it off.


Abbott:    I know, you press the Start button-


Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.


Abbott:    I did.


Costello:  When?


Abbott:    When I told you to press the Start button.


Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?


Abbott:    To shut off the computer.


Costello:  I press Start to stop.


Abbott:    Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.


Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.


Abbott:    Start


Costello:  Start what?


Abbott:    Start button.


Costello:  Start button to do what?


Abbott:    Shut down.


Costello:  You don't have to get rude!


Abbott:    No, no, no! That's not what I meant.


Costello:  Then say what you mean.


Abbott:    To shut down the computer, press-


Costello:  Don't say, "Start!"


Abbott:    Then what do you want me to say?


Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.


Abbott:    But that's what you do.


Costello:  And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.


Abbott:    Don't be ridiculous.


Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation.


Abbott:    What are you talking about?


Costello:  I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.



Richard D’Andrea Dover
In His Steps Ministries
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