CHILDREN HUMOR

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."
----------
Another three-year old put her shoes on by herself. Her mother noticed the right shoe was on the left foot. She said, "Honey, your shoes are on the wrong feet." The little girl looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."
----------
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
----------
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
----------

"Can people predict the future with cards?" asked the Sunday School teacher. "My mother can," said Sally. "Really?" responded the teacher. "Yes. She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."
----------
A father was reading Bible stories to his young children. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
----------
A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. Amen."
----------
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence. "I think I'd throw up."
----------
A preacher's little boy inquired, "Daddy, I notice every Sunday morning when you first come out to preach, you sit up on the platform and bow your head. What are you doing?" The father explained, "I'm asking the Lord to give me a good
sermon." The little boy said, "Why doesn't he?"