Church Signs


There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY Trespassers will be baptized!


"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"


"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin Robbins."


"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"


An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."


"People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."


"Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."


"How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"


"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"


"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."


"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."


"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."


"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."


"In the dark? Follow the Son."


"Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."


"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."



Richard D’Andrea Dover
In His Steps Ministries
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To the world, you may just be somebody...but to somebody, you may be the world.
Bill Wilson, Metro Ministries