1. The doors are never locked.

2. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.

3. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" -and five guys stand up.

4. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out of".

6. In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves."

7. The choir is known as "The O.K. Chorale."

8. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer, and then only so their neighbors can't leave 'em a bag of squash.

9. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

10. Baptism is referred to as "branding."

11. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.

12. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your health.

13. High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling.

14. People wonder if when Jesus fed the 5,000 - the fish were bass or catfish.

15. The final words, of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, ya hear?!"

A lot of church members who sing "Standing On The Promises" are actually
just sitting on the premises.

In His Steps Ministries