If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme Putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.
"It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling." -Mark Twain
"Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle." -Anonymous
Golf With Jesus, Moses, and Older Gentleman
One day, Jesus, Moses and an older gentleman were playing golf. The hole was a short Par-3, with a small pond right in the center.
Moses walks up first, pulls out an 8-iron, and swings. The ball looks short, and is about to hit the water when Moses suddenly thrusts his arms out to both sides. The water in the pond parts, and the ball rolls along the bottom of the pond, up on the green, and eventually comes to rest about 6 inches from the pin.
Jesus takes the next shot, pulls out his 9-iron and swings. Again, the ball looks short, and looks like its going to hit the water as well. But instead, the ball bounces off the surface of the water, rolls along the top of the pond, on to the green, and stops about 3 inches from Moses's ball.
The older man is up next. He walks to the tee, pulls out his pitching wedge and takes half a swing. The ball slices sharply to the right, hits a tree and bounces left. It bounces off the second tree, and goes right in the pond with a resounding plop. In the pond, a fish swims by and picks up the ball as its sinking in the pond, and swims it to the surface. Just as the fish comes to the top of the pond, a bird flies by and plucks the fish out of the water. The bird flies around the green with the fish (still holding the ball) about 3 or 4 times, when he swoops down toward the green. And just before the bird hits the green, the fish drops the ball right in the hole.
Jesus and Moses look astonished for a few moments, until Moses gets angry, and throws down his clubs. He gives Jesus a dirty look, and exclaims "That's it! I'm NEVER playing golf with your dad again!"
To the world, you may just be somebody...but to somebody, you may be the
Bill Wilson, Metro Ministries