QUESTIONING MOTIVES AND JUDGING
When You have Been Judged Wrongly
Have you been judged wrongly by an individual or organization? Have there been false statements made about you? Have your motives been questioned? Has your reputation been harmed by the words of others? Have you been treated unfairly?
If your answer is yes to any of the above questions, then you have great company-the Lord Jesus Christ. And He never sinned. So, the very first thing we want to say to you is–don't be surprised if this happens to you. If it happened to Jesus who knew no sin, then it certainly is going to happen to each of us who walk in sin at times. This world is not fair. And if it was truly fair, then we all would be judged guilty and immediately destroyed. These statements are not made to lessen the pain caused by others, but to help explain it.
The most important thing you can do when others have judged you unfairly is to walk in the fruit of the spirit. Do not hold unto bitterness, jealousy, anger, revenge, etc. Notice that we said 'do not hold unto these feelings'. We did not say 'don't experience these feelings'. When we have been wronged, we most likely will experience negative feelings. The key is what we do with them. When we hold unto negative feelings, the only one that ultimately gets hurt is ourselves.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to judge the heart and motives of those who have judged us. Do not fall into that trap. Take the higher road. Assume the individual or group is sincere in what they say or do. Give the benefit of the doubt. Walk in love. That does not mean that you must be in relationship with those who refuse to acknowledge they have wronged you incorrectly. But it does mean that you do not hold unto grudges or spitefulness.
Attempt to follow the Matthew 18 principle with those who have wronged you. If there still is not repentance, then you must decide if the offense is small enough to 'write it off' and continue fellowship or if you must separate yourself from the erring individual or group. Most of the time relationship is more important than what is right or wrong or what is fair.
Whatever you do, do not try to defend yourself. You will be wasting your time. Those who have already judged you wrongly will only use your defense as more evidence that they must be 'right'. Follow the example of Jesus, He never defended Himself. He never lashed out when He had been wronged.
One last thing. Look at the possibility that God may be using the unfair circumstance to call you to move out of the relationship. But be careful in this assumption. Don't run from your problems or conflicts. When the furnace of affliction is hot, too many Christians run from the heat instead of being purified by the fire. At the same time, there is nothing godly about staying in abusive relationships that do not change. Use wisdom. Follow Biblical principles.
We realize that the guidelines given in this nugget can be hard to follow. Be at peace. God does not call us to be perfect. Instead He calls us to trust Him for strength to do what is right and to have a sincere heart before Him and others. His grace is sufficient.
Copyright © 2001 Richard D. Dover. All rights reserved.
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations used are from the New American Standard Version (NASB).