In his book, Gary
Chapman describes that are basically five ways people express or receive love.
Love is expressed by: Words of Appreciation
Acts of Service
Words of Appreciation
We express words of affirmation to others by saying:
"What a nice dress!", "Thank you for doing the dishes", "The art project you brought home from school is simply beautiful.", “I love you”, "I appreciate that you took out the trash with out my even asking."
Words are powerful, whether they are the actual word or the tone of voice in which they were said. A person who speaks the language of Words of Affirmation needs to constantly hear words of encouragement and praise.
Acts of Service
You express your love to others by serving them.
Doing whatever you know will make them happy. This is the language of people who don’t need to be told they are loved they need you to SHOW them. Little Acts of Service are how they know they are loved. This means the dishes are done, laundry completed, grass is mowed, trash is out, dinner is done.
You express your love by giving gifts.
These people like the idea that someone thought enough of them to get them something - anything. A handful of dandelions, pizza for dinner or calling in sick so you can spend time together are all treasured by a gifts person. Sometimes your time can be the most valuable gift if given at the right time.
You express your love by spending time together and
spending time in quality conversation.
This means undivided attention goes to the person you love and not the TV, baseball game, or the boss. All your attention goes to the one you love -- the one who feels they are loved, only by YOU spending time with THEM. Maintain eye contact when talking. Don’t listen and do something else at the same time. Listen for feelings. Observe body language. Refuse to interrupt.
You express your love by physically touching the person.
Any kind of gentle and loving touch: a hug, caress, a hand on your shoulder, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, running your fingers threw someone’s hair. Physical touch does not mean sex. For some people they would rather be held and touched, more than anything else that you do.
In our next nugget we will describe how God shows His love through the five Love Languages.
If you would like to get a copy of “The Five Love Languages”, you can go to our site and order on-line, you will get a substantial discount on the book. Go to www.creatingfutures.net/books.html.
Copyright © 2002 Richard D. Dover. All rights reserved.
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations used are from the New American Standard Version (NASB).