For most of us we interpret love based upon the love language we use to give love. The problem with this is that there are four other love languages of showing love. How many times has someone shared their love with you, but you did not see it as love or you refused to receive it as love. I bet many more times than you think. How have you hurt someone because you did not receive their love to you?
It is arrogant and foolishness to have an attitude that people must love us only in the way we want them to. We end up missing some special blessings. We need to ask the Lord to help us to see the person’s desire to love us even if it is not our love language. We can learn to receive love in all of the five love languages.
One of the reasons we may not receive love in certain ways is because we may have been wounded by someone and we have not totally forgiven them. Whenever someone tries to love us with a love language like the one who wounded us, we may not see it as love. We need to realize the Lord may be using this person to bring healing into our life. Part of that healing comes from receiving the offer of love.
It is also arrogant to not be willing to share love in more than one language. If we know a special friend or spouse feels loved when they receive words of affirmation, why would we not want to bless them by giving them a compliment instead of lavishing them with gifts? One word of praise may mean more to them than several gifts. When we are giving love, the purpose is to bless someone else, not ourselves.
Have you ever felt like “No matter what I do they will not receive my love”. Maybe that statement is true. The reason it may be true is because you are only giving love in a language that does not speak to their heart. Ask yourself this question, “How does this person normally show love to someone?” The answer to that question may be the answer to how you can show love to the person.
If you speak English and meet someone who speaks only French, you will have a hard time communicating with each other. So, you find ways to communicate effectively other than just speaking words. How much more should we try to find other ways to communicate love effectively to those who are in our sphere of influence-especially loved ones.
In the next nugget I will share examples in my own life in regards to the concept of love languages.
If you would like to get a copy of “The Five Love Languages”, you can go to our site and order on-line, you will get a substantial discount on the book. Go to www.creatingfutures.net/books.html.
Copyright © 2002 Richard D. Dover. All rights reserved.
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations used are from the New American Standard Version (NASB).